


Yuletide Gifts

by thinkingmakesusso



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angry Merlin, Christmas, Freylin, Gen, Guilty Arthur, Knights Follow Merlin, M/M, Magic Revealed, Multi, Yule
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkingmakesusso/pseuds/thinkingmakesusso
Summary: Guinevere is right, as usual, Merlin does deserve a gift for Yuletide. When Merlin asks Arthur for time off, he doesn't think anything of it; but when it's the middle of the night and he still hasn't returned, Arthur and the Knights go after him, worried that he'd gotten lost, only to find him at a mysterious lake talking to nobody about someone named Freya. When they learn the whole story, there's nothing to do for the friend that has sacrificed everything for them, but save his lost love.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SavingPeople_HuntingThings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavingPeople_HuntingThings/gifts).



> A gift to the beautiful, magical, wonderful person, TheRowdyThree. Please enjoy.

    “What are you looking at, Arthur?” Queen Guinevere asked her husband when she found him in a random hallway, eyes fixed on something out the window. It was a cold day, early morning, so the snow from the previous night still looked mostly perfect. Few people were outside yet, only some servants on their way to work and guards on duty.  
   “What? Nothing. I'm just thinking.” Gwen could just about hear Merlin's mocking voice in her head saying,  _“thinking? That's a new one.”_  
   “About what?” She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder.  
   “I ordered a dagger to be made for each of the Knights of the Round Table, as they insist upon calling themselves. The blacksmith who made them lives about a day’s ride from here, and I doubt he'll be able to make it in this weather. I'll just send Merlin.” Gwen rolled her eyes.  
   “Speaking of Merlin…”  
   “Hmm?”  
   “What have you gotten him for Yule?” He looked at her incredulously.  
   “Was I supposed to get him something?” She swatted his arm.  
   “Arthur.” He chuckled and turned to kiss her forehead.  
   “Yes, alright, alright, I'll think of something.”  
   “Good,” she nodded and pulled away, “I'm off to see Elyan. Be good.” She left her husband with a peck on the lips. _What the hell am I supposed to get for that idiot?_ Arthur thought. I'll just ask him what he wants.

  
             ~~~•••~~~

  
   Later that night as Arthur took a bath and Merlin tidied the royal chambers, Arthur remembered his early conversation with Guinevere.  
   “So, Merlin, my wife seems to be under the impression that you deserve a gift for Yule,” Merlin scoffed, “I usually find it's in my best interest to listen to her, though I don't know how you convinced her of that one.”  
   “I didn't say anything, you clotpole.”  
   “Regardless,” Arthur continued, “I wanted to know what you want.” Merlin paused his chores and thought for a moment. Then, he simply shrugged.  
   “I don't want anything.” He proclaimed. Arthur laughed.  
   “You, Merlin, are the one person who'd turn down a royal gift. Besides, you must want something.” Merlin shook his head.  
   “I really don't.”  
   “Come on…”  
   “Fine, you insufferable prat, if you'll shut up, I'll pick something.” They were silent for a few minutes and Merlin continued his cleaning, "The evening off.”  
   “What? Merlin, there's the feast Yule evening and-”  
   “No, no. Don't worry about it. I'll work.” The poor warlock looked crushed. All he wanted was some time off, was that too much to ask? But Arthur was determined to make him happy.  
   “No. You'll get your evening off. Not to worry, Merlin.” He decreed. Merlin smiled.  
   “Thank you, Arthur!” He practically squealed. Arthur chuckled.  
   “Whatever, Merlin; don't be such a girl’s petticoat about it.”

  
           ~~~•••~~~

  
   “So, where's Merlin?” Gwaine asked. It was the Yule feast and the party was in full swing. Nobody was completely sober and the dancing was lively.  
   “He asked for the night off for his Yule gift.” Arthur explained and Gwaine scoffed.  
   “Really, princess? It has to be a gift for you to give him time off?” Arthur shrugged, but inwardly felt guilty. Merlin did work hard, despite all of his teasing, and sure he complained about his excessive amount of chores, Arthur was big enough to admit it was excessive, but Merlin never complained when Arthur really needed him; not when it counted. “Anyway,” Gwaine continued, “I bet he's off doing something fun, although he should've invited me. Where did he go?” Arthur shrugged.

   The conversation was dropped for a while as they went about their evening. When the feast came to a close, late that night, (really it was early the next morning), snow began to fall and Guinevere dragged her husband out to the courtyard steps to watch it fall. The Knights followed, happy to see the King contented. Gwaine was tossing around an apple, about to take a bite. Leon snatched it from him.  
   “Don't you think you've eaten enough for the night? Why don't you give the apple to one of the horses?” Gwaine rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath, but headed to the stables nonetheless. After a few moments, he poked his head out.  
   “Guys! Merlin's horse is gone!” Technically, it wasn't Merlin's horse, it was one of Arthur's that only responded to the warlock and not the King. Arthur refused to acknowledge it was no longer his.  
   “You mean my horse.” Everyone else rolled their eyes.  
   “Regardless,” Guinevere started, “I wonder where he went.” Percival nodded in agreement.  
   “And why isn't he back? It's late.” Now Arthur rolled his eyes.  
   “Idiot probably got lost. Come on, let's go get him.” He pecked his wife on the cheek while the Knights grumbled and saddled the horses, and the went to find their friend.

  
            ~~~•••~~~

  
   “Anyway, Freya, I miss you.” Merlin kneeled by the lake, snow falling on his brow, but he didn't care. He was talking to his love, even if she wasn't there to talk to him. He stood up and gave one last longing look towards the lake and turned around. He found his horse and patted him lovingly, dusting some snow off him. “I'm sorry, Hengroen, you must be cold. Don't worry, we'll be back in Camelot soon, and I'll find you a nice shiny apple to make up for this.” He mounted the stallion and started off. He figured it was best to go through the trees, so he had more cover from the snow. He started up the path and was startled by a group of cloaked figures and screamed.  
  
             ~~~•••~~~

  
   “Anyway, Freya, I miss you.” The Knights heard their friend’s hushed voice from the cover of trees.  
   “Who’s Freya?” Gwaine wondered aloud, quietly. Percival frowned.  
   “A lost love, it seems.” Arthur scoffed at Percival’s explanation.  
   “Obviously not, she can't be. If Merlin had a girl, I would know about it. He tells me everything, even when I wish he would just shut up.” Leon shook his head.  
   “I don't know, sire, what other explanation is there?”  
   “Different question,” Elyan began, “I’m just curious, but why are we at this lake?” Everyone turned to face him.  
   “To find Merlin!” Gwaine exclaimed.  
   “I know that, I'm saying why is Mer-”  
   “AHHHH!” They jumped and turned to see Merlin on his horse, startled, face flushed. “What the hell are you doing here?” The Knights and Arthur sputtered, opening and closing their mouths, looking to each other for answers. “Did you- did you follow me?” Merlin accused, clearly wounded.  
   “No! We thought you had gotten lost! We came to find you, mate.” Merlin dismounted.  
   “I appreciate the faith you have in me, Gwaine.” He spat sarcastically. Arthur was fuming.  
   “Merlin! We were just looking out for you! Now why the hell are you at some random lake in the middle of the night talking to a person named Freya, who isn't even here?! Who is she? Why don't I know about her? What is she, your whore?” Arthur fell, making a great thumping noise. He brought his hand up to his stinging face and drew it away to see blood. The King looked up to see a furious Merlin towering over him. “You punched-”  
   “Never. Speak. Of. Her. Again.”  
   “Merlin!” Leon yelled. “You can't do that! He is your king and you will show respect!”  
   “Oh, bite me, Leon.” Merlin spat back. Gwaine couldn't help but laugh. Percival and Elyan both punched him in the arm.  
   “What did I-”  
   “Listen to me.” Merlin snarled, “If I ever so much as hear one of you say her name, I will never talk to you again. Are. We. Clear?” The Knights all nodded nervously. No one had ever seen Merlin this way before. Merlin mounted and rode away as Arthur struggled to his feet.  
   “What the hell just happened?” Elyan asked Arthur.  
   “I don't know; but I'm sure as hell going to find out.”

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

  
     The door to the physician’s chambers slammed shut, startling Gaius and making him jump up (as much as a man of his age could) only to see Merlin furiously trudging to his room.  
     “Merlin?” He inquired, a worried look painting his face.  
     “If Arthur asks, I'm not here.” He simply said and slammed the door, only to open it abruptly a few seconds later. “And I'm not at the tavern.”  
     Gaius sighed and went back to work, assuming that Merlin and the King had one of their usual squabbles. Some time later, he heard harsh whispers from outside of the door. He couldn't quite make them out, as his hearing wasn't spectacular anymore, so he approached the door. Just as he was about to open it, however, he heard more conversation.  
    “I don't disagree, Princess; he does like me better than you, and it's good to hear you admit that, but he'll be pissed if I come. He'll think you don't care enough to come yourself.” Gaius swung the door open.  
    “What did you do?” The Knights looked startled.  
     “What…whatever do you mean, Gaius?” Leo stammered.  
     “Why is he so angry and how did you cause it?”  
    “I…do you know the name Freya?” Arthur inquired. Gaius’s eyes widened and he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.  
    “What happened?”  
    “I called her a…whore.” Gaius bit his lips.  
    “Inside. Now. Go apologize.” The King nodded frantically like a scared child.  
    “Who is she, though?”  
    “It's not my place to tell you.”

  
      There was a knock and the door slowly opened. Merlin remained looking out the window.  
     “What do you want, Gaius? Is it not alright for me to have just one moment to myself?” He heard the door click shut.  
    “It's not Gaius.” He turned to see the King and Merlin sighed.  
    “I'll come back to work tomorrow, just leave me alone.”  
    “That's not why I'm here. I wanted to apologize.” He explained. Merlin scoffed.  
    “That's a new one. Seriously, do you even know how?”  
    “I'm sorry, okay?”  
    “Fine.”  
    “So you forgive me?”  
    “Sure.” He deadpanned.  
    “Why don't I believe you?”  
    “Honestly, Arthur, I have no choice but to forgive you. You'll just end up being more of a prat than you usually are. So, yeah, I'll forgive you.” The silence was deafening and for a few seconds, Arthur thought to leave. Then, he remembered the Knights will kill him if he didn't find out about this Freya person.  
    “Merlin…who is Freya?”  
    “Was.” He seethed.  
    “I'm sorry?”  
    “Was. She's dead.”  
    “Oh. Okay, who was she?”  
    “A girl. I barely knew her, but we were in love. She's dead. She was killed.”  
    “Merlin! Tell me who killed her and I will walk to the ends of the Earth to find them.” Merlin let out a sharp and sarcastic laugh. “Who killed her?” Merlin turned around and with shiny tear filled eyes whispered the answer.  
    “You.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur learns about how Merlin met Freya and his involvement in her death.

  “What the _hell_ are you talking about, Merlin?” Arthur screamed, “I've never killed an innocent!” He defended.

  “Ha!” Merlin spat, “I can't believe you.”  
  “I can't believe _you_!” Arthur retorted. Merlin had a dark and deadly look in his eyes. Arthur was almost - _almost_ \- afraid, but then Merlin's eyes turned somber.  
  “You don't believe me.”  
  “How could I? You've just accused me of killing someone you loved!”  
  “No, you're right, that was mostly your father’s job.” Merlin mumbled.  
  “What the hell are you on about? Look, if you're going to tell me I've killed someone, aren't I owed some details?”  
  “ _Owed_? Not everything's about you, you prat!” Merlin stormed away and collapsed on his bed into a seated position. “Fine. You remember when that bounty hunter came to the city? With that Druid girl? And around the same time there was that monster? The Bastet?” Arthur nodded. “I let her out.”  
  “Who?”  
  “The girl.”  
  “Merlin!” Arthur was astonished.  
  “Arthur, she was just a girl. She was cold, and it was raining, and she looked starving. I've been in that situation before…I couldn't just leave her to die.”  
  “You and your bleeding heart.”  
  “Not the point. I took her to the depths of the castle. I brought her food and clothes. I loved her.”  
  “Merlin, I think I'd remember killing a girl.” Merlin shook his head.  
  “Just listen, you great clot. She had been attacked, years ago, by a man and killed him in self defense. The man’s mother, she was a witch. Cursed her to kill forevermore. As a monster.”  
  “The Bastet…” Arthur concluded. Merlin nodded.  
  “Every night, she'd transform, into it. She had no control, Arthur, I swear it. And…and when I found out, she thought I'd hate her. Think her a monster. How could she think that? She was an angel. We were going to run away together.” At this, Arthur startled.  
  “You…you were going to leave me? Leave Gaius? Leave your friends? Leave _Camelot_?” Merlin bit his lip and nodded. Tears tracked down his face. “Why?”  
  “If Gwen was made to leave Camelot, and not by you,” he mumbled that last part, “would you not leave with her?” Arthur nodded. “She had told me of her home. A beautiful lake. Mountains. I told her of Ealdor. Some fields. A couple of cows. We were going to find a place like that, live out our lives together in peace. But then, y-you stabbed her, and I found out, and the wound proved fatal. I carried her to the lake, because I wanted her to be at peace, forever in our home.”  
  “I'm sorry, Merlin; truly. I hope you're reunited in Avalon one day.”  
  “I've seen her since then.”  
  “What?”  
  “She guards it. The lake. My Lady of the Lake.”  
  “ _She's_ the Lady of the Lake.” Arthur had heard many stories of the Lady during his childhood, as all children had. Merlin nodded.  
  “Guardian of the veil between the worlds.”  
  “Merlin! Bring her back to Camelot!”  
  “I can't. She's tethered to the lake. Besides, she can't physically be with me. I mean…I talked to her once, in a reflection, and I've seen her arm. It stuck out of the lake to give me something. But it doesn't matter. She's lost to me forever.” Arthur turned, determination written on his face and stalked out the door. “Arthur? Arthur where are you going?” He heard Merlin yell. He left the physician’s chambers to find his Knights waiting outside for him.  
  “Leon!”  
  “Yes, sire?”  
  “Get Geoffrey of Monmouth. Bring him here. We need his help with research.” The Knights all looked confused, but Leon nodded.  
  “What should I tell him this is regarding?”  
  “Untethering the Lady of the Lake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short. Feedback, please? It really helps. Also, I'm starting a schedule. Wahoo! Responsibility and limited procrastination! I'll be updating every Saturday. Ish. I hope?


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur figures out there's only one chance to free Freya. 
> 
> Warning for BAMF Gwen.

  
  “Arthur…Arthur. Earth to Arthur. Clotpole!” Merlin tried to get the King’s attention.   
  “What, _Mer_ lin?”   
  “Can you focus for one minute and listen to what I'm telling you? This won't work. I've tried.” Around them, the Knights shuffled about with books and research. Geoffrey and Gaius were deep in conversation, and Leon and Percival were arguing about something or other.   
  “Well maybe you've missed it! The point is, Merlin, we have to try.”  
  “No! We really don't!” Merlin grumbled.   
  “Why are you so against this? Don't you want Freya back?” Arthur inquired, angry and confused.   
  “Of course! But you can't help me!”  
  “Then who can!”  
  “I don't know! The Druids?” Silence in the room.   
  “Merlin,” Arthur began slowly. “I think you know how I feel about that. They practice magic!”   
  “Do you want to help me or not, Arthur?”  
  “There's got to be another way!” At this point, Geoffrey of Monmouth cleared his throat.   
  “I'm afraid not, sire. Merlin is right. The Druids are the only ones with the knowledge and power to help.” Gaius and Merlin exchanged a cryptic look.   
  “Please, Arthur.” Merlin was begging; Merlin never begged; he just did what he wanted to.   
  “What's the point of saying no?” Arthur yelled. “You'll just go and do it anyway.” Merlin sombered and shook his head.   
  “No, I won't. If you tell me you're against it, I won't go and I'll never bring it up again.” Arthur looked up, though he never even realized he had been staring down at his boots, and looked his servant in the eyes. Minutes passed this way; the room remained silent and unmoving.   
  “Let me…let me think.”  
  “Arthur-”  
  “Just let me think.” The King pushed past Gwaine and Elyan and left the room.

                  ~~~•••~~~

  “Enter!” The King shouted when a knock rung out on his chamber doors. The Queen came in and smiled at him softly.   
  “Elyan filled me in. Are you okay?”  
  “Yes…maybe…I don't know.” Gwen came and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his temple.   
  “That's alright, you don't have to know.” He smiled.   
  “Thank you.” She rounded on him and came to stand in front of her husband.   
  “That being said,” Arthur groaned. “You can't do this to Merlin.” Arthur shot up.   
  “Do this to Merlin? What about he can't do this to me! He wants me to permit him to consort with sorcerers-”  
  “Druids-”  
  “And he knows the position he's putting me in and-”  
  “Arthur!” He shut up. “You killed the love of his life!”  
  “I didn't know!”  
  “You killed the love of his life and if he did that to you, you'd never forgive him.” Arthur sat down. “If I died, and you thought you had the slightest chance of getting me back, wouldn't you go for it? Wouldn't you do anything?” The King nodded.   
  “Yes, of course.”  
  “Right. But that's not what Merlin's doing. Merlin has a chance at happiness, and if the way he gets it makes you uncomfortable, he's not going to do it. You killed the love of his life and now he's willing to not get her back if it makes you uncomfortable! Who does that? Who does that but Merlin? The most loyal of friends who does everything for you! He never takes time off except for one evening in six years! He didn't even tell you he was suffering! About the fact that he and Gaius were living ration to ration! He never asks you for anything! He has a chance at happiness!” She quieted slightly. “He has a chance at happiness, and he's asking your permission. What kind of person does that?”  
  “Merlin.” The King whispered.   
  “Merlin.” Guinevere confirmed.   
  “You're right.”  
  “I know.”  
  “I've got to go find him and tell him to go to the Druids. Thank you, Guinevere.” He kissed his wife on the cheek and dashed out of his chambers.

                 ~~~•••~~~  
  “Don't worry, mate, the Princess will come around.” Merlin shrugged.   
  “Maybe.”   
  “Merlin!” Everyone jumped when they heard the King yelling from halfway down the hall. He burst in suddenly.   
  “Merlin! I'm sorry! Of course you can ask the Druids for help. I'm so sorry.”  
  “Really? Oh thank you, Arthur!”  
  “Don't thank him, Merlin, it's the right thing to do.” Gwaine argued and received a punch in the shoulder from Percival.   
  “No, Percival, Gwaine’s right, though that's the only time I'll ever say that. Pack a bag Merlin. All of you, pack a bag!”  
  “Wh…what?” Merlin looked like a confused pup.   
  “What did you expect, Merlin? You think I'd let you have all the fun? No! We're coming with you.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to the Druids and Gwaineness. (We all know that's a thing.)

  
  “You don't all need to come.” Merlin explained, yet again, as the Knights followed him into the courtyard and loaded their horses with bags.   
  It had been a long few hours of packing bags, telling Arthur he didn't need to come, and making plans. Merlin, despite all he did for them, would feel more than a little bit indebted to the Knights and the King if they followed him and helped him get his love back. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate their help, because he did, and he knew they could be helpful, in theory, but dealing with the Druids would most definitely be easier alone. Besides, Merlin couldn't imagine the Druids would talk and send them off; they would insist the group rest with them for the night, and it would be nice for Merlin not to be furthest from the fire for once. If he was alone, he'd be warm, and fed a hot meal, and not need to serve it. If he was with the Knights, he'd be expected to help cook and serve and probably not get enough to fill him up and be cold all night long. Merlin realized these were selfish and privileged thoughts, and he really wasn't comfortable with the way the Druids treated him, with him being Emrys, but the idea of being an equal, just for a little while, was a nice one. Despite this, Arthur was coming. Even after Merlin told him it would be quicker if he went alone.   
  _“Don't be stupid, Merlin. You wouldn't last the night. We're coming.”  
  “But-”  
  “That's the end of that discussion.”_  
  So, as they set off for the forest, Merlin was resigned to his misery during this, more than likely pointless, trip. The Knights seemed confident, and Arthur seemed ecstatic, but Merlin was a realist and he knew Freya wasn't coming back; wasn't going to be his again, even for a little while. She was, of course, gone. Arthur seemed to sense Merlin's lack of faith as he set up camp that evening.   
  “Merlin,” he called over. Merlin sighed.   
  “Anything I can get you, sire?”   
  “Merlin, what's the matter? Aren't you meant to be happy? You're getting your lover back.” Merlin cringed.   
  “Don't call her that.”  
  “What? Lover?” Percival questioned. Merlin nodded.   
  “Yeah, it makes it sound so…I don't know…”  
  “Impersonal?” Leon suggested.   
  “Yeah,” he nodded. “Besides, I doubt this'll work, Arthur.” The King’s face scrunched up.   
  “I thought Geoffrey said the Druids could save her. He said they were the only ones who would be able.”  
  “The only ones who _might_ be able.” Merlin retorted. Gwaine snorted.   
  “You're reading into things too much, mate; we'll get your girl.” Merlin just mumbled something to himself and went off to get firewood. They were silent for a few minutes, until Gwaine spoke up again. “You'd think, with you being the one to kill the love of his life and all, you'd help him set up camp.”  
  “Shut up, Gwaine.”  
  “Am I wrong, though?” Arthur looked him in the eyes. The disrespectful Knight had a point, but he should know by now if you want Arthur to do the right thing, either let him figure it out on his own, or set Merlin or Gwen on him; he wouldn't change his behavior if Gwaine, of all people, called him out.   
  “If you're so concerned, why don't you help?” He countered.   
  “That's not what I-”  
  “Go on, tend to the horses.”  
  “But-” Arthur cut him off again.   
  “ _Go_.” The King’s tone left no room for argument. He grumbled as he got up and went to do as he was told. Merlin arrived back a few minutes later.   
  “Where's Gwaine?” He inquired.   
  “Swallowing his words.” Percival chuckled. Merlin shrugged and sat down. As he lit the fire, Leon was brave enough to ask questions.   
  “Merlin,” he began. “What's she like?” The other Knights stared at him with wide, warning eyes. “Freya, that is?” Merlin dropped the flint as the flame grew.   
  “Amazing,” Merlin’s face grew a thousand times happier as he spoke of her and his friends smiled. “She was sweet, and generous, and kind, and soft, and beautiful. She was never selfish and always thought of others first. She was always remorseful, of course, when she…you know. But…”  
  “But?” Gwaine prompted as he came over to the group and sat back down.   
  “But…but, she thought herself a monster. She wasn't, I promise you that.”  
  “She sounds lovely, mate.”  
  “Perfect.”  
  “I'm happy for you, Merlin.” The Knights all spoke at once.   
  “Merlin,” Arthur questioned softly. “Why do you keep referring to her in the past tense?” This shut everyone up. Merlin shrugged.   
  “I guess I just don't see her coming back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late…again. Seriously, suggestions are great. Sorry it's so short.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Druids.

  “Are we there yet?”  
  “Shut up, Gwaine!” Arthur roared.  
  “So…no?” Gwaine commented once more and Merlin chuckled gently.  
  “Almost, Gwaine, don't worry.” He said without thinking. Elyan gave him a confused look.  
  “How would you know?”  
  “I…I don't. It's just a feeling.”  
  “Oh, fantastic,” Arthur groaned sarcastically. “Merlin's got another one of his funny feelings; that usually bodes well.”  
  “Like it or not, your royal pratness, I'm usually right.” At this point, the group turned to see some Druid children running around the forest, and evidently they were near the camp. The kids didn't seem to notice them and they moved on. “See? I told you!” They rode for about five more minutes before they heard a shout.  
  “King Arthur Pendragon!” A voice roared and Arthur shivered internally.  
  “That's you, princess!”  
  “Who goes there?” He unsheathed his sword and dismounted, the Knights following suit. “Show yourself! Slowly, a hooded figure came out and looked to the King. Then, he removed its hood.  
  “A pleasure to see you again, Sir Leon. I trust you've made a full recovery?” Leon swallowed and nodded nervously, uncomfortable being seen to know a Druid, even though he knew his friends already knew. “King Arthur, please, let me welcome you to our camp. Rest awhile, and then we can begin.” As they spoke, more Druids seemed to be curious and stopped what they were doing, whether it be chores or simply talking with friends, to watch.  
  “You know why we're here?” The Druid nodded.  
  “Now, come, please. You must be travel weary, stay the night and we can talk in the morning.”  
  “I don't think that's a good-”  
  “King Arthur,” Iseldir said in a borderline condescending voice. “We're going to help you, but you must trust us.” Arthur hesitated and then nodded.  
  “Please, lead the way.” Some Druids came and began to bring the party to rest. As they walked forward, Arthur shouted back.  
“Merlin! Tend to the horses and our things!” Merlin sighed.  
  “Yes, sire.” His friends disappeared from sight and suddenly all the surrounding Druids were on their knees.  
  “Thank you for coming, Emrys; we are honored to be of service.” Merlin looked decidedly uncomfortable.  
  “There's really no need for that,” and he added under his breath, “as I've said many, many times.”  
  “Emrys, why don't we-”  
  “Iseldir, can we talk later? I have to do my chores first.” The others looked at him like he was crazy as a group came forward to tend to the horses and the group’s things. “Oh, uh…thank you.” The woman closest to him curtsied.  
  “It's a pleasure, my lord.” He cringed. He had long given up on trying to stop the Druids from addressing him simply as Merlin.  
  “Do you mind if I use one of your fires to make supper for my friends?” A teenage girl and boy approached him and the girl spoke.  
  “We'll cook supper for you and your friends, my lord; it would be an honor.” Twenty minutes later, after a thinly veiled and respectful lecture from Iseldir on destiny, as he got every time he visited, he sat with his friends and the Druid Elders and ate his stew. The Druids, Arthur, and the Knights minus Gwaine held stilted conversation with the Druids and the tension was thick, although if the Elders noticed they didn't show it.  
  “King Arthur?” One of them, Ava, asked. “May we be so blessed as to borrow your servant for the night? We need some help.”  
  “Sure, although I can't imagine he'll be all that helpful; he's an idiot.” Now, the Druids showed the tension of the situation and tried not to seethe at the insult to their savior.

                 ~~~•••~~~

  “What did you need, Ava?” Merlin asked as he followed her back to the heart of camp, where most of the Druids were.  
  “Nothing, Emrys.”  
  “Then why did you ask Arthur if you could borrow me?” He emphasized the word borrow with finger quotes. The Elder rolled her eyes as if it was obvious.  
  “I figured you might like to sleep in a real bed for once?” Merlin almost let out an embarrassing moan at the thought.  
  “That would be lovely,” Merlin mused. “Thank you.” Ava laughed.  
  “Well then, follow me.” Eventually, they came across a rather large looking tent that was, apparently, Merlin’s. When Merlin went inside he immediately flopped onto the bed and closed his eyes. He had barely been there five minutes when he heard a young voice at the door.  
  “Excuse me, my lord? I was sent to prepare a bath for you.” The girl explained.  
  “Oh…uh…sure, thank you. That's really not necessary, though.”  
  “It's not a problem, my lord,” she insisted. “It's already ready so I'll just bring it in.” When the girl left Merlin sank into the bath and this time he did moan. He was surrounded by delicious heat and every muscle in his body was forced to relax. Now he understood why Arthur ordered baths so often.  
  “My lord?” Merlin startled at the sound of the intruder’s voice. He turned to see a boy, who could not have been older than twelve, with a wash rag and soap in his hands. “I've been sent to assist with your bath?”  
  “Oh, no, no, no, no! I appreciate the gesture but I can really bathe by myself. You can just leave the stuff with me and I'll handle it.” The boy blushed.  
  “I apologize, sir, but I'm under express orders to ignore you if you tell me to not help you.”  
  “By whom?”  
  “Iseldir, my lord.”  
  “I'm not surprised,” Merlin sighed. “Fine, let's get this over with.” As the evening went on Merlin came to learn that he not only didn't mind being bathed, but he loved it. He was the most relaxed he had been in years, maybe his entire life, and he made idle chitchat with the boy, Timothy. As he cleaned and rubbed Merlin's feet, Timothy explained how he was just starting to study medicine and science, and Merlin told him all about his time with Gaius. Merlin slept soundly that night.

            ~~~•••~~~

  The next morning, which found Merlin refreshed and clean, was when the Druids helped the Camelot party with their problem.  
  “So you believe there to be a way to untether the Lady of the Lake, Iseldir?” King Arthur questioned. The Druid leader nodded.  
  “Indeed, I do, my lord. Hundreds, thousands, of years ago, there was a man named Aodh. Aodh was the stuff of legends, your majesty. It is said that he had power over one of the elements: fire. He was a good, kind man, and it is said that every year he would grant any request asked of him by the person to find him first- he would travel, and live in secluded areas, you see- and the request could be for anything,” the Knights listened to the story intensely, though they didn't see where Iseldir was going with it. “He would get varying requests, though they were usually secular; riches, land, power, the like and he would willing grant it to them. And then, one year, he was approached by a woman named Ethne. Now, Aodh had, of course, heard of Ethne before.”  
  “Of course?” The King interrupted. Isolde nodded.  
  “She was known throughout all the lands. Ethne, you see, also had power over fire. However, unlike Aodh, she did not have the power to grant people miraculous wishes. Ethne was also a good, kind person, and wanted nothing more than to help people like Aodh did. She asked him for the powers he had. Aodh tried to warn her that with this power came immense responsibility, but she would not listen. So, having no choice but to comply to uphold his tradition, Aodh gave Ethne the same powers he had. The next year, while some still seeked out Aodh, most sought Ethne, as she lived closer and granted not one, but three wishes. So she met three people and granted their wishes. The first, a man, wanted money, which Ethne gave him; the second, a woman, wanted food for her entire village to last through the Winter, and Ethne gave her that; but the third wanted something that had never been asked before, he wanted his sister back. Now, Ethne tried for months to find a solution to getting the man’s sister back.”  
  “Did she find it?” Gwaine inquired.  
  “She did. However, it could only be performed by the most powerful of sorcerers, and she wasn't strong enough, so she went to find Aodh for help. As she made the long journey to find him, Ethne passed through a small village. As she rode through she decided to stop and rest for the night. She knocked on a cottage door, only to find the woman she had granted the request to. The man she had given the money to, it seemed, had hired a group of mercenaries to pillage the town, and stole all of the food Ethne had gifted. The woman had lost her sister to the raid and her child to starvation. Naturally, she was angry that Ethne’s wish granting had caused her nothing but grief. When she saw the cause of her pain and suffering at her doorstep, she killed her. The woman knew she had to run, that it was a small village and she would be caught, so she took Ethne’s body and ran. Little did she know, that in Ethne’s possession was her journal, containing the secret to bringing back the dead. If the legend is true, which it most certainly is, that journal is still out there somewhere, waiting to be found and used by a powerful sorcerer to bring someone back to life.”  
  “So,” Arthur began. “You're saying that if we find this journal, we can bring back Freya?”  
  “Yes.”  
  “And what about the matter of untethering her?” Elyan pointed out.  
  “You leave that to us. We'll have it figured out by the time you're back with the journal.” The Knights, Merlin, and the Druids seemed more than satisfied, though Arthur still had some queries.  
  “Woah, woah, woah, hang on a second,” he started. “Aren't you forgetting something? We still don't have this all powerful sorcerer you're referring to.” Iseldir looked at Merlin briefly, whose eyes widened in alarm.  
  “I believe you do, my lord.”  
  “And who is that? What sorcerer would want to help Camelot?”  
  “Oh, King Arthur,” Iseldir said. “The one that's been protecting her for years.”  
  “Who on Earth would that be, then?” Arthur exclaimed. There was no talking for a moment, just the sound of the King’s riled up heavy breathing. Then, softly, a voice.  
  “That would be me.”


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

“You want to explain yourself, Merlin?” The King growled. Merlin lowered his eyes a little.  
“Not particularly, sire.”  
“Merlin!” He yelled.  
“Yes?”  
“What the hell do you mean, yes? You have magic? What the fuck possessed you to practice and learn the evils of sorcery?”  
“I didn't!” Merlin yelled and everyone went quiet. “I didn't,” he repeated in a rather hushed tone of voice. “I never chose to. I was born this way.”  
“That's impossible!” Leon accused.  
“Yeah, well it happened to me!” Everyone was taken aback by Merlin yelling. He sighed and plopped down onto the grass. “I…I'll explain everything. Will you just hear me out?” Gwaine nodded and the rest of the Knights looked to Arthur for an answer. He bit his lip and, after an uncomfortable minute or so of silence, he nodded. “Right, so…where to begin…”

~~~•••~~~  
When Merlin had finished his story, about ten hours later, he looked up for the first time, expecting to see anger in his friends’ faces. Instead, Merlin was shocked to see genuine awe and, in most cases, respect. Leon just looked terrified and somewhat perplexed.  
“Right,” Arthur said, standing up. “I'm going for a walk.”  
“Arthur…”  
“Alone, Merlin.” With that, he strode away. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Gwaine spoke.  
“Merlin, mate…thank you.” Merlin looked perplexed.  
“What for?” The group scoffed and Leon shook his head.  
“For what? How about for saving us so many times? Or protecting the Princess? Or Camelot? Or for giving your life for us?”  
“I'm not dead, Gwaine.”  
“You know what he means,” Leon said. “And, though I'm not sure how I feel, thank you for protecting the King.”  
“That's my job.” Merlin smiled.  
“No, Merlin,” Leon countered. “That's my job. You saved him and us so many times yet you never sought credit-”  
“That's not why I do it.”  
“And you remained a servant.”  
“It's my destiny,” Merlin said, suddenly very serious. “Serving Arthur is my life’s purpose. I'll be devastated if he never wants to speak to me again, though I wouldn't blame him, but I'll serve the King until the day I die.” Leon, feeling more than a little uncomfortable at this point, stood up and offered himself to go fetch the King.  
“Your majesty?” He called as he approached.  
“Leave me be, Leon. I'll be back momentarily, just leave me be.”  
“Sire, I understand how you're feeling, but-” Arthur cut him off.  
“No you don't, Leon! You can't possibly understand what it's like to be lied to for years by your best fr- your servant!”  
“No, sire, I can't, but I care for Merlin, too; we all do. He obviously had his reasons for not telling us and he's sacrificed so much for you and for Camelot. I don't like magic either, my lord, but-”  
“I get it, Leon,” Arthur had had enough. He knew Leon’s intentions were good and he appreciated the effort, but he just wanted to stop talking about it. “You're right, and we should be going.” Arthur pushed past his First Knights and walked off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooo sorry I made you all wait so long. Evidently, I had trouble with this chapter and I really don't love how it turned out. Maybe, when this is all over, I'll write a separate story about the reveal in detail; but for now, this what you're getting. Ideas and reviews always appreciated and welcome! I love you all!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter; sorry.

That day's ride was mostly silent. That is, it was for the first three or so awkward hours until the Knights took it upon themselves to ask Merlin all the questions they had. 

"So, you told Arthur his step-mother was a troll? And he didn't believe you?"  
"Would you believe me, Percival?"

"And you just -what- never wanted any credit?"  
"Leon, that's not why I do it."

"This may an inappropriate questions to ask, but, if you couldn't conjure strawberries, what does that mean for your alcohol conjuring abilities?"  
"Gwaine!" The Knights yelled. 

Arthur, however, had been conspicuously quiet the whole time. He spoke when he needed to, and he gave orders, but, he did not ask Merlin any questions of his own. When they made camp for the night, Arthur announced he was going to collect firewood, and Merlin up and followed him. 

The crisp Winter air surrounded the King as he looked for dry, slow burning wood. Arthur turned as he heard leaves crinkle and a branch snap behind him. Standing there, looking ridiculously guilty, was his manservant.   
"Merlin, what do you want?" He asked. Merlin hesitated.   
"I-I just wanted to apologize; you know, for all the lying and betrayal." He tried to joke. Arthur's face feel and the warlock tried to maintain his composure.   
"Merlin…Merlin, you shouldn't be apologizing; I should. You've done so much for me and for Camelot and I've treated you like shit. I'm sorry if I made you feel I was angry with you; I'm only angry with myself and-"  
"Don't be! You shouldn't be!"  
"I am and rightfully so. I've also been thinking about what this means-"  
"I'll accept any punishment you think is fair." Arthur looked Merlin in the eyes as he listened. "If you want to execute me, I'll let you."  
"Let me?"  
"Sorry. That's not what I-" Merlin found himself tackled in an unexpected hug. As the King squeezed him, he whispered in Merlin's ear.   
"Don't ever apologize to me." He pulled back from the hug and looked Merlin in the eyes, again. "I only meant that I was thinking about what this meant for the laws of Camelot."  
"What…what do you mean?" Merlin tried not to let himself become too hopeful.   
"I'm going to lift the ban on magic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…I'm back? Kind of? Sorry that it's been so long; I've been dealing with a few personal matters and procrastinating. Anyway, please let me know what you think and reviews always help!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please comment and let me know what you thought! I'll update as soon as the words hit paper!
> 
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Talk to me on my Tumblr, @unhealthyamountsofhamilton


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